Hope for a Revival

To live a better story.

2010-08-20T23:30:00.003-05:00

Hey guys! This is my post for the contest donald miller is doing for the Story Confrence in Portland. Check out the confrence web page: www.donmilleris.com/conference

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

Thanks!
Jenny

I’m 20, and to most people out there that means I have my whole life in front of me. But, I don’t. No, I’m not dying (or at least, not that I know of) but Im walking around a character in a story with out a plot.
I, the character am silly, and irrational. I want to change the world, watch the oppressed be set free. I talk about revivals, and about the definition of church. I want to see the body of Christ be united, but I can’t find that piece inside of me to even join a church, to commit to a location or locations in order to watch these desires come about.
My “chapter” currently involves a lot of time with my computer, work, and studying. I have even found my self with only a few real life friends. My iphone in all reality, has become my best friend. And when things get tough I escape to places that I haven’t been, like Portland. I also go collect things from other people’s lives because I can spend hours looking at it wondering what story it has, antiques have begun to clutter my tiny little place. It doesn’t even end with things, I have even tried dressing in other people’s clothes in hopes that it would make me live a better story.
I have romanticized my life, and well I need to stop. My story may not be about me falling in love with prince charming, or being in a center of a revival… my story may not be as romanticized as I have played it out to be.
To live a better story would be to find freedom, to be fearless, to discover a setting where my hopes and dreams may play out, and to start learning about people’s stories through their stuff but through them.
To live a better story, I want to start talking to people. I want to talk to them and write down what they have taught me and in the end, to discover me.
I think this conference will give me this opportunity to start this change. To start talking to people, and watching people… to discover myself, my home, and my own story.
I need a setting. I need a plot. Without these things I am just all talk and ideas and no action, a travesty.

Cookies, Honey, Ball gowns, and Beauty

2010-03-12T10:04:00.001-06:00

I’ve been meaning to blog about this moment with my savior for a while now, and I see it as a better time now, then ever. As many of you know I was dealing with intense ministry burn out, the hardening of my heart, and the wonderfully glorious struggle of brokenness. When this moment happened with my savior, I had just left the church I was serving at and my heart and sprit began the process of healing. I was also physically sick and honey and lemon tea were the true fixers of the torn up throat I couldn’t seem to shake off. I realized then honey was such a wonderful gift, so much so that I was inspired to bake! If you know me, you know I’m dreadful in the kitchen but I ventured out anyways to create honey cookies! J

I found my self in my pajamas at 10:00 at night molding honeycomb shaped on a cookie sheet out of wrongly mixed, sticky, sweet honey cookie dough. I had worship music playing in the background and was wearing my oldest, cruddiest, pair of sweats. My curls were without guidance on my head, and my face only had left over makeup on from the crazy day I just had. One would think this would be a set up for disaster or quite possibly a nervous break down.

Yet, I felt the sprit strongly. I felt beautiful. Like prettier than the day I went to prom, or prettier than the last time a handsome man commented on my beauty. I felt beautiful, and as If I were created uniquely to be Woman.

If you know of my life and calling towards ministry, you may know that there are times where I wished I was man because in my mind it would make serving Jesus easier. I didn’t understand why I was female with my passion for church history and interest in church plants and restoration, and leaving the church I had just left this was such a sore subject for me. And well, my self-esteem has always been a rough spot for my chubby, awkward self.

But it was in that moment baking those cookies that I felt beautiful, I felt captivating, and loved, and felt peace about the issues that were plaguing the spirit within me. I was all by myself yet I felt as if I had walked into a ball in front of many and all the ladies and gents were whispering to one another saying, “she’s beautiful.” It may sound silly but it is a dream of mine to have a cinderella story, where prince charming meets me at the bottom of the stairs, ready to sweep me away. But, this moment was more precious than that moment could ever be, this moment my dancing partner was Jesus, and I was living for an audience of one.

I told a friend that story a few nights ago, reminding me of my need to share this experience with all of you. He also mentioned to me the significance of honey, that rabbis used to give it to their students to remind them of God’s sweetness, which is beyond fitting for this moment in which I received the Lord’s sweetness

The Lord is sweet. He is the lover of my soul, and with in me his sweetness calms my soul.

Intimate encounters entry 1

2010-02-24T20:37:00.002-06:00

Im going to start something new at this blog. Maybe it will help me post more frequently. I've thought about this for awhile, sharing pieces of my journal with the public. I myself am a somewhat private person and the thought of sharing with the mass public, or even the number of people who read this blog my intimate thoughts are bothersome. But I want to die to myself, and the spirit flows when I journal, and I learn so much about how the spirit moves and talks to the hearts of the Lord's people by reading the words that are written through the spirit by a pen in my hand.

This might be a weekly thing, or even happen more frequently. I don't know. I just know that I am stirred to share with you guys what God has put on my heart in those intimate times with Him.

The following entry comes from a time in my life, over a year ago where I had really started to become stirred by the state of the church, when God had confirmed my call to the ministry, and when a vision for a revival (where this blog's name came from) was written on my heart.

I hope it stirs your heart as it did mine as I revisited that old, leather bounded journal of mine.

" God my heart is seriously burdened with this brokeness for the hurt that is being caused by the church. My tongue is heavy, so heavy I can't speak or put into words what the cry of my heart is. Yes God, I am excited but Lord, what I'm most excited for is to see your will be done in the life of the church. Let it be ignited with passion. Let people be accepting and be waiting. Let a revolution happen."

I then wrote about the whispers of peace I heard being written on my heart.

"Daughter remember the church is made of sinners. All but me Daughter [have sin]. I've saved you from this sin and planted you on firm ground- but not you, nor are they, nor the people you preach to are free from sin. Yes daughter, wait in acceptance but wait in patience."

I then ended that entry that day with a "Wow!"

Reading this entry, made me yearn for a time like that again with the Lover of my soul. It's those quiet moments where we find ourselves throwing ourselves at His feet, where we hear peaceful messages like that.

I hope this brought you something. May you find yourselves having many moments like this with our lover.

Peace and Blessings,

Jenny

Hey Fool, turn that blanket into a cape!

2010-02-23T19:51:00.005-06:00

I really like super heros, with wonder woman being my absolute favorite. I like the fact that many of them represent power, strength, integrity and courage but to be honest with you, my favorite part are their cool looking suits, especially the characters that wear a cape.

As a little girl, I would often fasten the blanket that sat on my mother's couch around my neck, so that I too, would have cape. Something special happened to me when i fastened that blanket like that, i suddenly felt confident and energetic to point of no return, much to my parents' dismay.

We have a similar, more extravagant garment we can wear. The Holy spirit is that garment. It unleashes powers through Christ to not only connect us with the heavenly, but to give us strength, power, courage, integrity, and to even perform miracles. Through this power we may hear the voice of Christ. How amazing is that?

But as christians we choose to use our relationship with Christ as a blanket. We use it for warmth, good feelings, and comfort. We use it when times are hard and we need security. But do we fly with Him? Are we renewed with the confidence and energy found in the Holy Spirit daily?

My challenge for you is for you to fasten that blanket around that neck of yours. I pray that you may encounter the Holy Spirit, and that the power of it may be unleashed in your lives as it has mine.

Fool, let's turn that blanket into a cape!

Dissipation or Sanctification

2010-02-09T19:28:00.006-06:00

My heart often gets hardened to the world.

Scripture sometimes goes in one ear, and out the other.

Sometimes, I lose concentration on why I am here in this world, and for whom I'm living this life for?

Christ warns against this in Luke 21:34

"Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation,

drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on

you unexpectedly like a trap." (NIV)

The day He was talking about was the day He's coming back to save us all. I know i don't want that day to sneak up on me. I know that i must live that day, and everyday sanctified.

Our lives must be of sanctification or they will become those that fall victim to the world's process of dissipation.

The process of sanctification comes when we draw near to Christ, when we seek and fall at His feet.

Chambers wrote in My Utmost for His Highest:

"We take the term sanctification too lightly, are we

prepared for what sanctification will cost? It will cost

an intense narrowing of all our interests on earth,

and an immense broadening of all our interests in God...

It means every power of body, soul, and spirit chained and

kept for God's purpose only." (Feb 8th devotional)

Sanctification is something we can't take lightly. If we do, if we lose purpose as we draw ourselves close to God, and He draws us closer to Him, we fall victim to sin, to hardened hearts, and our minds become consumed with the worldly.

My prayer for you comes out of 1 Thessalonians in chapter 5 verse 23:

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through

and through."

Do not fall victim to the world's weight and the devils temptation. Keep yours eyes on Him, and become sanctified, so when that awaited day comes we will be ready.

With love,

Jenny

Aches, pains, joy, tears and the lack of

2010-01-20T20:12:00.003-06:00

I want to cry but i can't. As promised in my last post I will let you know when this heart gets heavy. It might be burnout. Anne Jackson might say i have that mad church disease she writes about. But honestly, I have no idea what it is.

My heart hurts for Haiti, yet it seems so distant. My heart is hurting for a friend who lost his brother to suicide, and for that man's kids kids and ex-wife he left behind. My heart hurts for a girl i went to school with that lost her father. And another girl, who recently lost her mother.

The world seems mean. I have a desire that can't be quenched, the desire is heaven. But in this pain I hurt. I hurt so much. Is this the life of the Christian- hurt, pain, and frustration met with unspeakable, uncomprehensible joy? If that's the case I'll take it. I'll take it if it means one day I will be taken in by my sweet Savior. I can live with this aching pain in my heart.

Master, take me. Take me in. Take me in so that i may touch your face, and smell the fragrance of your embrace. I wait Lord as you purify me with this world. May i be refined.

About me.

2010-01-18T20:56:00.000-06:00

I haven’t blogged much. I realize this and I am wanting to change it. Most of the time I don’t write because I am busy, distracted or often enough my heart is too heavy to put words on a page. I can’t change the latter but I can change the first two reasons. I am going to make time to blog, and when this heart is too heavy to write (or I hope soon to Video Blog) I will update you with that as well.
So as a way to get back into the swing of things in the blogging world I want to tell you a little bit more about myself. I pray that this is not coming out of prideful ambition but as way to show you, my reader, that God can and will use anyone, even a wretch like me. I haven’t blogged much. I realize this and I am wanting to change it. Most of the time I don’t write because I am busy, distracted or often enough my heart is too heavy to put words on a page. I can’t change the latter but I can change the first two reasons. I am going to make time to blog, and when this heart is too heavy to write (or I hope soon to Video Blog) I will update you with that as well.
So as a way to get back into the swing of things in the blogging world I want to tell you a little bit more about myself. I pray that this is not coming out of prideful ambition but as way to show you, my reader, that God can and will use anyone, even a wretch like me.
You see, I am a dreadful human being. I’m prideful, conceited, and at times overly emotional/border line dramatic. But Christ loves me, and my heart was transformed by that love and started to yearn for a world that was full of grace, mercy and compassion-a world that has done away with the religiousities and pharasitical exhibited. I had a vision for a revival and my heart was forever changed.
Though that is obviously the main purpose of my existence (though I forget that myself quite frequently) I am like many other 20 year old girls. I adore cartoons, listening to NPR, and collecting old books. (Okay, maybe I’m not like most 20 year old girls, but is there really a norm for that sort of thing? )But anyways, I really enjoy playing dress- up, people watching, and blowing bubbles. I like baking, though im dreadful at it and I describe what my ideal future husband would be like using dead theologians , biblical figures, and cartoon characters. (I am not kidding- if you happen to know a young man who is a delightful mix of Spurgeon, CS Lewis, the apostle Paul, and Woody from Toy Story - hook a sister up! )
I also have a specific call to ministry, the local church. I have an intense interest in church statistics, and church planting. I would love to someday plant a church with Mr. Right and some close friends. When I tell some of my desire to do this, they insist that I may be planting many churchs- if that’s the case, Bring it on!
Anyways, I’m an ordinary girl turned saint the day I picked up my cross and followed my sweet savior. And my prayer is that this blog brings you as much joy as it does me when I write it.

Peace and Blessings,
Jenny E.

A shared dream

2009-10-26T13:33:00.003-05:00

My heart is heavy today. I seek change in this world that words can't express. I seek hope for the hopeless and justice for those that have been stepped on. These are simple things. Why do they seem so hard when it comes time to share this burden? We as humans can't carry these things without Christ. With Christ we bring hope. With Christ we bring Justice. We are mere vessels because we have grace.

Run with me.

Fight with Me.

Do you not understand this significance?

These are simple ideas, Body. I need your help. My heart has been burdened for this city and for this world. Join with me.

We are mere vessels with the bond of the Cause of Christ that is joining us together.

The Great Commission- Life in Action.

2009-10-11T18:47:00.003-05:00

So often we approach ministry in a way that we go in expectation to leave. It doesn't matter if you are going to Africa for a month, you know you are going to leave. It doesn't matter if you are going to feed the homeless on a Saturday, you will eventually leave. We even look at doing ministry in our own enviroments like this, we know we will leave our church, our school, and that local Starbucks. We know we will eventually be in that safe place.

Go into scripture with me please. Let's look at Matthew 28. Jesus had RISEN from the dead. He was just reunited with his best friends, his disciples. Imagine the emotions. Before he ascends into heaven he says the well known verse,
" Therefore Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of
the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey
everything I have commanded you. And surely I will be with you always,
to the very end of the age." ( Matthew 28: 19-20)
Think about the weight of this scripture. This is the son of God. His last words to you were to go and do what He did with you- build relationships, disciple. The weight of this is huge. This is God in the flesh, who has just proven this by rising from the dead. Wow. Obviously, this command from Christ has to apply to every Christian- we MUST go and MAKE DISCIPLES.

Jesus' life was intertwined with his disciples. He ate, he loved, and he worshipped with those he discipled. We must do that. If not what kind of disciples are we making? Conveniently safe ones.

We are all missionaries, called to go and make disciples of All nations. Being a Missionary is not traveling to minister with the knowledge that you will travel back to a home of safety and comfort through likeness. Being a missionary is living among, worshipping with, not as an outsider but as a brother or sister granted salvation. We are all called to missions according to the Great Commission.

Life Update: New Season

2009-10-07T17:00:00.003-05:00

I know I haven't written on this thing in a while. Why? Life.

My life has changed dramatically.

1. I no longer live in San Marcos, I now am in Arlington, Texas.
2. The Vision for a Revival has been narrowed down quite a bit. I left FC and am now at a church that is dying, hoping for a Revial to keep it's doors open. I still crave a revival around the world but this church I believe is another vessel for that vision God had given me.
3. I prayed to be a missionary, i am one more than in traditional "missional" sense. (more about that later)

Anyways, with this life change - my blog wont change. These changes in my life will only fuel what i write.

Please join me in this conversation.

Peace,
Jenny

A blog out of frustration

2009-06-08T22:27:00.002-05:00

So, I am frustrated. I feel like Jesus when he knocked over the tables in that temple. Yes, I am flooded with righteous anger. Why? I am sick of church culture. I go to a great church, I love my church and this rant (with i hope some sort of resolution) is not against my church but the church as a whole- the body around the world, specifically in America. WE ARE DYING PEOPLE!!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

Why do we close ourselves off in these little bubbles and when we try to break off and join the masses with social media and networking *cough* Twitter *cough* we create new bubbles and traps to fall in? Why are our leaders growing up to think in a "me" way then a "Him" way when they were called to ministry and leadership position because of "Him!"

Im frustrated. Im angry. My stomach is sick. Where did discipleship go? Where did anonymity go? Where did evangelism go?

I feel as if I can say this because I have fallen in this trap. I am an active participant in this culture of believers and leaders. I craved a place in that culture where I would have influence.

Christianity however rests in the hands of the anonymous. Christianity wasn't spread by crafty, socially savvy, sales people but plain men; many of the disciples were fishermen! So as I humble myself and resist to fall into this trap once again- to be sucked into this culture we have created for ourselves. I try to humble myself by reaching outside this culture. For this culture we have created is not for the outside world as intended but for us. Leave it! Go! Disciple and Evangelize. Please, we are dying here. All we are doing in the "culture" is exchanging herd not gaining sheep. Though numbers may look good, is there really growth once we get them there?

When we leave this culture, look outside of our 4 walls - we will see growth, we will see true herd growth! Please come join me and resist this whole culture we have created and latch onto the culture that Christ has set in front of us, adapting with each life we come in contact with, discipling each sheep. The culture we should latch on to is not any man made entity but the Word and the Holy Spirit.

Having a Heart like Ruth in a World of Distractions

2009-05-13T21:15:00.004-05:00

I know its been awhile since my last post. One word: Finals. But now that the finals are over, I now have some time to blog. In the last few weeks The Lord has show me a lot when it comes to the heart and I am so thankful. Around the time of my last post, I had a great conversation with a friend. The Lord gave me scripture to share with the friend out of Ruth 1 and it not only played such a significant role in how i approach that particular friendship but in a lot of different areas of my life. A lot of us know the words that Ruth said to Naomi in Ruth 1
" "Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.

¹⁷"Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the LORD do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me." Ruth 1: 16-17 (NASB)

As you may remember, Ruth's husband had just died in battle and Naomi was urging her to move back to her family and wed again. The latter would of been a more logical decision for ruth, a more comfortable and culturally appropriate decision to boot. In the midst, of mourning Ruth showed this devotion! WOW!

The devotion of Ruth's heart is something we can all apply to our lives. Earlier in the passage in verse 14, the NASB reads "Ruth clung to her." What would our lives look like if we cling to all that God is calling us towards? If we were as devoted to things as Ruth was to her mother-in-law? What would it be like to show this devotion to our relationships, ministries, education, or families?

In a world where hearts tend to get distracted, this kind of devotion is hard to have. It is a kind of devotion that requires the work of Jesus in you life as well as a continuous spirit of humility. This kind of devotion is something we as humans can not imagine without Christ and without having a relationship with Him that is constant.

I have been trying to seek this kind of devotion in the areas of my life where i feel as if it is needed. I am being continuously sharpened and humbled by the experience. It is a constant prayer for me for this distracted heart to go away and for a heart that is constant and devoted (Like Ruth's) to appear.

This blog will hopefully encourage you to do the same no matter what challenge you may be facing. Maybe it's that friend that is driving you crazy, or that change in your church or ministry- maybe its even your marriage. I want to challenge you to seek a heart of devotion in that season and to seek the Lord so that your distracted heart may cease. This is something that we as humans, can't do alone but need desperately the love and sharpening of Christ to do so.

Unity with Open hands and Open Hearts

2009-04-27T08:55:00.003-05:00

I believe in for the revival that we all so desperately are seeking we must be a Body of one. As Christ prayed for us, the believers in John 17: 20-23
“"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” (NIV)
After reading this morning I asked the Lord what it meant to be unified. I believe unity comes from empty hands and open hearts, hands that are willing to lend a hand and hearts that are ready to love. If we start to do that in the body we will truly be a light to this dark and dying world.
So today, I pray that we are all intentional in how we love and how we lend our hands out. Ask the Lord for opportunities to help and love a brother or sister today. It is important to be missional in the world but sometimes just by living in unity with one another (as Jesus prayed) is the best testament to Christ’s love for a non-believer. Let us love one another like Christ has loved us so that world may know him.

Why A New Blog?

2009-04-25T13:08:00.001-05:00

I decided to delete Joyous Trek because it didn’t really line up with what I feel as if I’m supposed to blog about. I feel as if the old blog was kind of about the church, and the world towards the end (when I did blog) but the name didn’t match what I blogged about. The Joyous Trek’s intention was to give me a place to ramble about things that was happening in my life but as I grew I realized that’s not really what I should blog about right now- I want to blog about things involving you and I; and the revival I believe that is occurring right now in the church and around the world. So here it is…. My new blog, A Hope for Revival.